Simply speaking, pandemic time has been an overwhelming time. We are a population at the mercy of an unknown and unpredictable new virus. As a result, we are required to be fluid, resilient and changeable. As our world experts acquire knowledge, what they require from us, changes. Consequently, societal norms fluctuate from strictly controlled to looser and back again– we adapt and shift often. Like a crow’s flight pattern across the horizon, we have zigzagged through the pandemic: forward, left, swoop, retreat. Further, what is true today, may not necessarily be true tomorrow. And we must adjust to incorporate any new knowing.
It follows then that as a people, we have learned many lessons; we have bent and stretched in previously inconceivable ways to adjust to a tsunami of information. The changes and growth have been all-consuming. I am positive that in two years, I have not had a conversation that did not at some point, include the word ‘Covid'.
Now, at the stage where covid has mutated into a more virulent form and the bulk of us are vaccinated from serious illness, restrictions have eased. Going forward then, what of this tremendous learning curve do we carry with us into the rest of our lives? What of this tumultuous growth is worth holding onto?
A familiar spiritual philosophy teaches us that in this life, we should take what we need, what best serves us, and leave the rest behind. Whatever speaks to us, resonates within us, we should engrave upon our hearts. The rest is irrelevant, runoff for the drain. Therefore, it is important to 'choose our truths' and to leave the rest to the discretion of the universe. For me, I have chosen many truths during this pandemic time. The teachings that serve me, those will abide within me. The rest, I offer up to realities more powerful than I am.
As we move forward with a covid normalized reality, what follows is the pandemic teachings that I choose to carry forward.
Fear affects individuals differently. For example, my intense fear of an assailant virus is shared by many people. There are households that seldom emerged from their homes for the entirety of this pandemic. Yet other homes have been affected little. Fear often depends upon what we feel is at risk. Families blessed with healthy members have little to fear as their risk has been determined low. Meanwhile, in families that house beloved seniors or ill loved ones, their fear level is justifiable higher. The key is in striking a balance between, fear, caution and common sense.
The unknown is terrifying. Knowledge begets calm. At the onset of 2020, I was not alone in my worry that we all may potentially die. As a global community, we knew little about covid. Anxiety was palpable and circled the planet like a heavy smoke. Today, armed with knowledge and scientific certainty, fear has abated and life is settling into an easier rhythm.
Goodness and kindness matter. Sharing with others during times of extraordinary trouble is crucial. When we give an unquestioning hand-up to family members who struggle, when we share resources and finances with those who cannot access shuttered workplaces, we provide safety and shelter: basic, essential, human needs.
The word 'unprecedented' is overused.
People cope with hardship in diverse ways. Some do everything possible to help their communities, seniors and children. They follow the rules, even if unsure of them, trusting that other, educated folks know best. Some do less, perhaps struggling with fear or perhaps, not knowing who to trust. Maybe that is ok. We each handle uncertainty differently.
A core value: my rights do not supersede collective rights. I send gratitude to all those willing to set aside their “rights” for a short time, to serve the greater good.
Sadly, not all people hold the same core values.
Protesting in front of a hospital is a despicable act.
Many of us are vulnerable. A large portion of the population are a paycheck away from homelessness. A government that shelters us during vulnerable times is more than a blessing. It is our societal bedrock, our fundamental grace.
Isolation hurts. Even the most introverted need others in their lives. When you are locked down in a Toronto apartment for the better part of a year, and you live alone, isolation carves deep wounds.
Vaccines work. I will gladly become a pin cushion to keep my family and community safe.
Laughter is contained within a tiny deck of cards. Playing a simple game of Rummy with your husband on a winter’s night, chases the shadows from all the corners of the room. Cheating at cards holds its own mirth. Faulty math can create hilarity. More than any of this, playing cards is a welcome distraction that provides entertainment and a sense of togetherness.
Chalk paint can rejuvenate a home. It keeps hands busy and the bank account relatively stable. My home entered the pandemic cocoon ‘unfinished’ and emerged with a whole new palette. Enforced idleness can spur great creativity.
Pets provide purpose. Furry family members share your space, reside within your heart, and make each uncertain day bearable. No matter what new wave of pandemic approaches, they require a steady, daily routine that soothes frayed nerves. They create a focal point for energy and love without question. They are an essential part of my existence.
Propane towers enable friends to gather without freezing solid. No white walkers from the north were created on our patio.
Social media research does not equate education. Do not reside within a social media bubble. Look to the world beyond your screen.
Ignorance lives. It lives amongst and around us. It lives within people who we never would have imagined had the capacity to nurture it.
There are many types of bubbles. Some provide safe haven.
Science is important. Thank the universe for those who have dedicated their lives to research and scientific discovery. They truly enable the world to go round.
Mutations suck. Especially when they enter at the end of the marathon and again shut down the race. They create white knuckles and clenched jaws.
Mutations also show us what we are made of. They offer a genuine test of our mettle. The end of any race is the most gruelling. So, when a viral mutation circulates in the eleventh hour, we call on the last of our reserves and we race on. We fortify. We resolve. We finish strong.
Airplanes must fly. A world without travel, the ability to journey towards loved ones, is a sad world. Planes belong in the air, filled with masked, grateful parents and friends. Once travel ceases, despair begins.
Children are amazingly versatile little beings. They bend with changes and exhibit incredible flexibility.
This country is a blessing. Amidst chaos and uncertainty, we need not look far to see evidence of countries where suffering prevailed. I feel fortunate to live where I live, with the certainty that our lawmakers do their best for us in extreme times.
We are a global community. What happens to one, eventually happens to all. We must protect each other. In pandemic times, at all times, our humanity threads through and connects us all.
Danger fashions an interpretive dance. We sway and twirl, one day sitting in each others’ kitchens; one day enisled in our living room alone. We cope; we adapt. Danger becomes normal. We dance and move with it. Our spine bends with the deepest dip of the pandemic tango, however we do not break.
Busyness is not godliness. We can live at a slower pace. Life need not be a perpetual race from chore to chore.
Time is a shapeshifter. Days can slog by on leaden feet while hours disappear like a fluffy bunny beneath a magician’s hat. Poof! A puff of smoke and whole hours can disappear.
Realize that what works this week, may not work next. Be fluid. Undulate as waves on the ocean and accept that we are moving in and out of safe times and burgeoning infection rates.
The abnormal becomes normal. In war torn Europe, after a time, London citizens slept through air raid sirens, neglecting to evacuate to the underground shelters. A hideous anomaly became commonplace. We adapt.
Good neighbours are invaluable and over time, become family. The happy chime of our doorbell has announced many surprise offerings: cookies, stews, soups. Though we could not share a room, as neighbours we reached out in valuable and cherished ways. Some even bought gluten free flour for my tender belly.
Outdoor fires with friends and neighbours soothe frayed nerves. We braved cold and icy nights to sit together to share laughter or vent frustrations.
Outside time is essential to well being. Get outside. Where we started. Where our existence began.
Moving the body is a must. Happy hormones result from movement.
Look to the bird feeder. Bird antics provide a reprieve, if only for the shortest of sweet time. In time, feathered ones become familiar and require names.
Be gentle.
Remember why you love. Do not allow forced lockdown, confined spaces and the ensuing craziness to cause you to forget all the reasons that you choose to love someone. Yes, after two months of isolation you may suddenly realize that your housemate is a messy slob. Yes, you never realized quite how loudly they breathe. It’s ok. They are also a comforting arm about you at night and conversation at dinner.
Practice the pause. Extended time locked into close quarters can create tension. Then is the time to extend acceptance and patience. Take a deep breath. And pause. Respond instead of react.
Have faith that we are better because of our differences. Lockdown life can accentuate the things that drive us crazy about each other. We must inject each quirk and idiosyncrasy with good humour.
Some acts of kindness demand little from us. A loving response to an inappropriate comment, a cup of tea.
Be critical of what news you consume. Listen with a discerning ear and realize that sensationalist stories do not reflect absolute truths.
Fog does not envelope just the Avalon peninsula. Brains cloud in too. The grey matter can become a mire, ensnaring our thoughts.
Groundhog Day was not just a movie starring Bill Murray. True too in pandemic life, every day can be the mirror image of the one before.
When the people around you are not promoting safety, Use Your Voice. Be assertive, protect yourself and others. For example, when people get close enough that their belly brushes your back, use your voice. Social distancing is important.
Show gratitude to grocery store workers. Placing a five or ten dollar bill within reach of the teenager loading your trunk with your online grocery order is a good act.
FaceTime lightens a heavy heart. It permits visual contact with all the loves we cannot touch. It allowed my daughter to be 'in the room with me' during times when we desperately needed each other.
Hand sanitizer should be followed by moisturizer.
Leaders make mistakes. Especially when something brand new has invaded our biosphere. Be patient. Allow them grace. But above all, follow their directions. If we are learning, they too are learning and doing the best that they can. They will not lead you in harm’s way. I realize that I write this from the safety of NL where our leaders led the country in pandemic safety. Other provinces and neighbouring countries did not fare as well.
Sniffles belong at home. Do not take them beyond your front door. End of.
Support the mental health of your friends and family. Be a safe space for feelings. Any feelings. Forego judgement and instead choose compassion and grace.
Breathe deep. One. Breath. After. The. Other.
Practice yoga. Yoga. Yoga. Yoga. Everything that you need, resides within you. It is already there, inside of you. Yoga will help you unearth it.
There is comfort in sharing heavy things. Do not keep big feelings corked inside. Instead, release them into the light. They shrink when sunlight hits them, much like vampires. Chances are, your listener will thank you and express similar worries.
Masks are uncomfortable. Wear them anyway.
You CAN make life altering decisions during a pandemic. Despite sage advice to tread carefully during times of stress, to not turn the world upside down, I believe the pandemic created a great time of reflection and reconsideration of the important things. For example, decide to sell your cabin, stop teaching, move to NB for the winter.
In this vein, be open to change your mind. We sold our beloved cabin because of the lessons taught by pandemic life. Our second home, though lovely, did not support opportunities to see our children. The cabin required financial and time commitments that ran contrary to that value. So, we changed our mind about our cabin.
A career change can be a natural evolution, an adaptation to extreme stress. Sometimes we must close a door on one dream to open the door on a plethora of others. Have faith. Other dreams exist. They simply await an opening, space, to appear. Make space.
Tread water when it is necessary and move forward when it is safe to proceed. It is healthy to accept a modicum of risk for the right reasons. A month after my second vaccination, I boarded a plane for Toronto. I accepted that I had done everything that I could to protect myself and started taking steps to 'normalize' my existence. I had to see my daughter. The time for treading water had passed.
Trust that others will do their best to offer whatever protection they can. My flight was safe due to the efforts of the airline and I secured two glorious weeks with my girl. Not without risk. However, it was an acceptable risk. We must move forward.
Memory loss is a normal reaction to stress. During one particularly awful day, I became very upset with my husband for leaving the house and taking the dog without telling me. I became panicked when I could not find Elsie anywhere. I completely forgot that I had returned home after he had left the house with the dog. When your mind is overloaded, overwhelmed for long periods of time, fog is a natural coping mechanism. It is not brain disease. It’s stress and it’s ok. Phew!
Resiliency floats. It rises to the top. In a list of traits to possess, pandemic resiliency leads. The ability to bounce back, to take things in stride, is paramount to a ‘golden ticket’.
Family is precious. So are the Friends we entitle Family.
Pandemics are uniting forces. Society came together: as families, communities and as nations. Ironic, as none of us could physically touch the other, and yet, we came together in all the ways that mattered.
Some crises have no defined finish line. To speak of returning to ‘normal’ is to disappoint ourselves. Once a great shift has occurred, there is no return to before times. That would be paramount to repairing each blade of grass after the sweep of the mower, pulling pollen from honey. Impossible.
Consider this a time of great expansion. One giant inhale in the pulsation of life.
Stories will sustain us. Look ahead. In time we will tell our grandchildren cherished stories that begin, “There once was a changing season when everyone in the whole world loved each other enough that…”