We recently gifted ourselves with a basset hound puppy. Years ago, I decided that the basset is my dream dog. I desired one in an obscure, hazy fashion: the imagined, “Ah, wouldn’t it be nice” but in no way attainable sort of way.
Admittedly, I knew little about the breed other than they are wrinkly and joyous. They bounce (literally) about on the shortest of limbs, joy radiating from every step. Sort of who I aspire to someday be. Wrinkly and Joyous.
Since ownership, we have been educated. By the most authentic and self contained of teachers.
Today I share with you, Teachings: Cecil James Style.
We embody our names
My cherished poppy was the first Cecil James. As our setter, Elsie, is named for my husband’s grandmother, so too does Cecil carry my grandfather’s name. I realize that some regard this as ludicrous. So, do. I assure those of you with more open hearts that this naming was the most heartfelt and sincere of gestures. My pop was a loyal and dedicated man. Possessed of stubborn will and tender heart, I adored him.
With his passing, we also lost Pop’s name. Over time, it was spoken less and less. In my house today, all these years later, my poppy’s name reverberates with love and affection. Like a resurrection, the name of Cecil is once more commonplace in my family.
Cecil has risen to the expectation attached to his name. Like his namesake, he is loyal, dedicated and stubborn to a fault. He fills this house with laughter and occasionally, exasperation.
Shelter with your elders
When Cecil feels overwhelmed, you will find him squeezed tight to the ever patient Elsie, his head resting on her paws. At nine years old, Elsie has become the most wonderful mentor and safe haven for her brother. She protects him from the swats of the less-enthused resident tortie and is his ever ready partner for a zealous game of tug of war.
Greet everyone you love like a bucking stallion
When you first see a loved one after an absence, raise your front paws, claw at the air that separates you and shake your ears. Get enthusiastic. This is certain to charm your visitor and make them feel quite special. Try it.
In times of conflict, respond with love and wait for back up
Not everyone will love you. Handle that reality with dignity and compassion. Most importantly, do no harm.
Mauzy (the above-mentioned resident tortie) has not yet warmed to Cecil. A feisty creature, she does not get close to him but hisses at random times, and bats his little face during sneak attacks. She has chased him around corners, under chairs. On occasion, she has made him cry. Intersperse this with long periods of tranquility and calm where the two will, while not physically touch, be in proximity without incident.
Each encounter requires an intervention. After I’ve scooped up his feline aggressor, Cecil will slowly emerge from whatever surface he currently hides beneath. While I sit on the floor, a very reluctant Mauzy on my lap, Cecil will approach with a happy tail wag. No matter how often the cat scowls, Cecil returns with a jubilant bounce and the occasional stolen lick. He counters her fear and dislike with compassion and optimism.
An incredible lesson for these times, you think? He keeps a wide, hopeful berth and lives his happy life. When met with aggression, he does not bark or snarl. He waits for back up and responds with love.
Piss on it.
All of it. If you don’t hit upon it the first time, try again. (Crude, I know. But the pup has a point.)
Unabashedly change your colors.
At three months our lovely, tricolor boy, began a transformation. His black fur retreated, like winter snow on a spring mountaintop, while brown spread across his head and into his ears. This oblivious woman had no that her boy would literally “change his spots.” And was startled.
Cecil, of course, could care less. As he grows older, he becomes stronger, longer and more physically suited to mischief and fun. This is his concern. These are the changes that matter to his majesty – the ones that bring him ease and joy.
What a lesson in Becoming. Just become! Become the best version of you, unreservedly. Embrace aging. Embrace changing. Transform. Grow.
Throw back your head. Howl.
Your howl may be a wee baby howl to start, but that sound is yours. Use it. Howl with your whole heart. Let the world know that you are lonely, that you are frustrated. That you can’t reach your ball beneath the couch. Your voice is your tool, let the world know that you are here.
Create your own idea of beauty
Consider this description:
· Short, knobby legs that culminate in huge, bulbous feet that splay outwards left and right.
· Deep forehead wrinkle that falls forward over the eyes.
· Terribly long ears that habitually trip the wearer, resulting in frequent falls and face splats.
· The perpetual smell of kibble and the yeasty scent of Doritos.
· Eyes that droop, lower lids puckering.
Sound beautiful by today’s standards? Decidedly not.
Does CJ care? Decidedly not.
He rocks those ears, slides on them, face plants and then keeps on running. My little tonka truck plods heavily through the grass and stops to smell every flower in the garden and to chomp every seeded dandelion.
Is he beautiful? Yes, he thinks so! He is filled with joy and happiness. That is all the beauty he desires.
I can attain it, if I choose it
Basset hound puppies need not reside in Neverland, Peter Pan can become a real boy and hazy, distant dreams can be made real. Do not be content to let your most wanted desires remain in the fog.
I have learned, in this adulthood of mine, that many of the dreams I believed unattainable, were things I felt unworthy of claiming. At the root of any unattainable thing, is the belief that I am not good enough. However, the reality is that my every heart’s desire lies in wait. When I realize my worth, I can take ownership.
I can attain it, if I choose it.
Soft voices move mountains
This final teaching is a compelling lesson in gentle patience. My furry companion has taught that when I am soft and kind, when my voice is honey coated, he will gladly acquiesce to my requests. If there is a hint of frustration, no dice. He responds to love and love alone.
If I am a cranky pants, he does not recognize me. His gaze falls past me as though I were a specter. Add the honey and we have a happy tail, and eyes filled with love. Therefore, I learn again and again, to “practice the pause” in this life. To take a breath, still my mind, and THEN respond.
He is a brilliant soul, my Cecil. The universe has paired us well. I love to learn. Every day, I look for opportunities to grow and expand. As eager as I am to learn, he is likewise compelled to teach.
I think we shall get along just fine together.